I had to say that because people I've shared this with previously haven't believed me at first and I've had to convince them this truly happened to me. Allow me to begin.
I was on my way to a prayer service at church. I was running late because I had argued with Husband (about something utterly insignificant) and had to stop at my pastor's house to pick up the building keys. Uggh. Just how I wanted to start a prayer service.
I was at an intersection in the right-hand turn lane. I was waiting for traffic to clear when a car to my left (not in ANY turn lane) decided to take a right turn in front of me and scraped the driver's side of my van (if you're confused, see the diagram next to this paragraph) and kept driving. A hit and run!!!!! By the way, this was a month old new/used van. At this point in time, I had a decision to make- 1. let this jerk go and chalk up any damage that this driver may have caused or 2. chase down this driver and snap the hell off.I chose #2. This was out of my character. I am typically fun
loving/optimistic/ and even tempered. I am definitely not promoting anyone choose #2. For all I knew this person could've had a gun and killed me on sight. But something happened when that person hit my car. My kids could've been in the van. There was potential for injury and this person hadn't even stopped. I was already aggravated by the fact Husband and I had argued earlier, I was running late, and now someone hit me! I was through.
I continued my turn and sped up to the next red light were the driver who hit me was stopped. I pulled up next to the driver and discovered it was an OLD lady. Did this stop me? No. I began honking my horn. She ignored me at first but then I rolled down my window, yelled at the top of my lungs, and honked at the same time.
"LADY! LADY!"
She finally looked over.....confused. She rolled down her window. Her mistake.
"LADY! YOU HIT MY CAR!!!!!!!" Pause.
"I didn't hit your car."
"YES YOU DID!"
"Oh, my." She clutched her chest. Crap. Did I just give this lady a heart attack? Did I stop? Nope. Chest clutch or not, we were gonna talk.
"PULL OVER!"
"But....but...but...."
"I SAID PULL OVER NOWWWWWW!"
She waved me off and I didn't know wether she was going to pull over or peel off. The light turned green as I gathered myself. I had yelled so hard I felt the pressure leave my head. I'm sure I was a purplish/red color too. I looked to my right to make sure I didn't make a doofus move and hit someone, when I caught the eye of the driver on my opposite side. They looked at me as if I had 3 heads. I guess I was lookin' all sorts of crazy. I didn't care.
The part of town we were in, isn't known for it's safety so all I really wanted to do was check my van, exchange numbers and leave. The old lady pulled into a parking lot in a strip mall and made her way out of the car. She came to me with her hands up, quivering. Still, I'm not caring.
"Please don't yell at me anymore."
"OK. Lady. But you hit my van and drove off! What you did really could've hurt someone. You could've hurt yourself!"
"Ohhhh." She shook some more. This lady didn't even know she had hit me. She was so old. This is why I truly believe at a certain age, some old peoples' licenses should permanently expire! Real talk!
"See look, you scratched my van on the drivers side!"
"I did that?"
"Yes lady, you did!"
"Oh, I am so sorry! What do we do now?" I was starting to feel a little bad for how I treated her.
"Go back to your car, get your insurance card and drivers license and I'll go to my van and get my information and we'll exchange."
"O.K." She shuffled back to her car.
Now this is were it gets just plain old strange. Stay with me.
I walked back over to my van to get my info when I heard yelling in the background.
"Naw naw naw. Dafuq you gon' walk away from me......"
I look over to see a young woman with a pit bull on a chain leash, trailing behind a young man. Her pointer finger in the air, yelling at the top of her lungs at this guy. The young man seemed to not want to deal with her and wasn't saying much and was calmly walking away from her but toward where both the old lady and my cars were parked.
The young man finally says something-
"I can't believe you pulled that knife on me! Damn!"
This can't be! She couldn't have pulled a knife on him! I hear that wrong.
"You damn straight I pulled that mother f@#*%n' knife on you!
Really! Now, I'm from the city but I'm not from the hood so my alertness peaked when I hear the word "knife" and heard the brandishing of one confirmed by the other party. Time to speed up this process. I walk over to the old lady's car. She was busy rifling through her glove compartment trying to find her insurance card.
"Is this my insurance card?" She asked ME this question.
"No ma'am. That's your AARP card. Do you have insurance?"
"Yes baby, I do." While this old lady is trying to find her insurance card, she doesn't realize there is a potential knife fight about to break out behind her. I AM OFFICIALLY IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE!
I look up from the old lady's car to see what's going on with this domestic altercation when out of NOWHERE and I do mean nowhere, a transsexual/transgendered (male by birth) appears. This person was wearing a pink off the shoulder fitted shirt, with a pair of grey capri leggings, flip flops, curly hair to his shoulders and a 5 O'clock shadow (I shall call this person Shadow from this point on). My jaw dropped. Not because Shadow was a transsexual. In Chicago, my husband and I lived very close to Boys Town so we were accustomed to seeing very diverse members of the LGBT community walking the streets; everything from people walking each other on leather leashes to your Abercrombie and Fitch, homogenized gay guy. My jaw dropped because it was more, the fact that this was happening 10 minutes before I was expected to go up on stage, sing, and praise Jesus! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
Shadow was Young Woman's friend and Shadow came as backup for this fight. Here's how the rest of this fight played out:
Young Woman- "You know what Ima sick my dog on you!"
This caught the young man's attention. He stopped walking.
Shadow- "Das right girl you sick dat dog on him!"
Young Woman dropped the chain and patted the dog on the butt. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the old woman was STILL trying to find her insurance card.
"Is this my insurance card?"
"No ma'am that's a rewards card."
I was now really scared for this young man's life. Thank God the dog sat down on the pavement instead of viciously ripping off this man's face. Whew!
Shadow- "You bet not say one more word to neither one of us before I knock your azz out!"
Young man mumbled something under his breath. This infuriated Shadow who proceeded to square up his fists right in front of his face in a defensive stance and punched Young Man right in the nose. Young man's knees buckled and he fell to the ground. To add insult to injury, Shadow then stood over him and said these words (this is verbatim)-
"Now, go home and tell yo' homies you just got knocked out by a tranny!"
I. Was. Dead. My face melted, I half peed myself out of fear. I was done.
"You know what lady. That's ok. I have enough info to make a report. Please get in your car and try very very hard to drive carefully!"
"Baby."
"Yes ma'am."
"Please forgive me."
"I forgive you now please please get into your car and drive away! God bless!"
I got into my scraped up van and drove off praising God, it hadn't escalated any further. I did indeed called the police department and reported the incident I had witnessed. The dispatch operator seemed unaffected. Well I wasn't! That day I learned, people are crazy, and capable of doing some wild stuff; including myself.
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