Sunday Brunch- The Dishes Can Wait! Hang with God for a While

"On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work."Genesis 2:2

It is Biblical and necessary to rest. I've taken my own advice and this is why I'm writing my Sunday Brunch on Tuesday. I hardly cleaned; didn't garden at all but it felt good! Too many times we get in such a hurry; so busy with the happenings of the day that we forget what is essential- God and abiding in His Word and examples. We live in a society where the mantra for many is "Go!Go!Go!" Go to work for a 15 hour day. Go pick up the kids from their umpteenth unnecessary and over-programmed day. Go to the mall. Go to a friend's house. Go volunteer at the local food kitchen. Go read Facebook statuses for 2 hours and wonder where your day went. Go blog about something. Go go go go go. Enough!

Sometimes we busy our lives so much, we forget to do things like talk to our bestest friend of all- God. We don't talk with him because we're so busy. We feel like we don't have time to be still before God so we can hear his voice. We busy ourselves to the extent that we don't have a moment to take out His Love Letter and read it; fill up on His Goodness. But we wonder why we're taxed; our spirits as barren as the Sahara.

Heller! Take a rest! This doesn't mean abandon your responsibilities; laid up on your couch with your belly hanging out and half a burrito stuffed in your mouth (although sometimes, that does sound like a good idea). Instead, I urge you to not busy your days with the urgent things of life  (I'd call it the hustle and bustle syndrome). Instead make sure you're getting the important stuff done like uhhhh, hanging with God. He does indeed want to hang with you. Then worry about the rest because it truly can wait.

I've fallen victim to the tyranny of the urgent  (this is a really amazing document introduced to me by Husband) many times. In an attempt to try and not fall into that trap again, I quit my teaching job last year (the urgency of money can make you do crazy things like drive 45 minutes for $20,000 a year in the name of ministry) and decided to instead, take a little pay cut, stay home and enjoy my family. The "urgent" has still tried to creep back in though. There are times I still feel the busyness. That's my indicator, I need more God and less activity. So this past week, I've worked and rearranged my schedule to make time to be still and rest before God.

Totally would've missed this masterpiece had I not slowed
down for the "important" verses the "urgent". Love my guys.

I had a very dear friend from college come in from out of town. It was good to joke and laugh and catch up and tease and be "girls" with one another. I needed her visit more than she'll ever know.  I got to show off my husband (so proud of him!) and take her to the firehouse and laugh at her being too scared to slide down the short pole (about 10ft). She put on my husband's gear and modeled. I was the photographer. There was a certain degree of whimsy I would've missed had I told her not to come and instead busied myself with church work, my growing business, or taking the time to write a blog entry. I chilled and it was totally worth it!

Yesterday Husband, Friend, and Other Friend went to a concert. I screamed at the top of my lungs, sang all the songs obnoxiously, cried out to God (it was a Christian band), screamed some more just because I could, and enjoyed the fact that I was in a seat receiving music worship rather than offering it up from behind a microphone. I needed that.

Tomorrow I'm off to an older friend's property in Nowheresville. I truly don't know the name of the town they live in but I'm ok with that. It adds to the adventure of their property. I'm sooooo excited. This friend/mentor has 30 acres, 2 ponds and her husband built a detached "mancave" that's more like a watchtower. I'll read and pray and walk the trails and eat good food and have good conversation. I'm sure to feel rested.

I'll get back from this little getaway and there will be a multitude of things to do and they will innocently try to pull my attention away from God. I will have to actively be aware to remain in God's presence; to not let my eye wander to cleaning house,  grocery shopping or a thousand other deaths by errands before I do the important things like hang with God.

"Do not be in a hurry to leave the king's presence. Do not stand up for a bad cause, for he will do whatever he pleases." Ecclesiastes 8:3

It would do your soul well to read Tyranny of the Urgent by Charles E. Hummel. It's super-short for all those who think you have limited time (like maybe 900 words). It will be good for you. That's it. That's all I got for ya. A couple of Bible verses and a short reading assignment ;) Enjoy and rest a little would ya? If you feel so inclined, leave a comment and let me know how you rested this week and how it worked out for you.

Sunday Brunch happens every Sunday as a spiritual encouragement for readers of the Fiery Wife blog. Come back next week and see what God is serving up for you to eat. "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! (Ps. 34:8)"

Beat 'Em At Their Own Game!

Secret: Sometimes I dread picking up Eldest Son from summer camp. I know that when he gets in the car he's going to talk my ear off when all I want to do is be a total mom-nerd and listen to boring NPR stories on the car radio.

The Boys and Me. Eldest Son is on the Left. 

Eldest Son is a TALKER. He can go for hours on end. He's curious and searching for truth and understanding in his little world. And while some way too cool and emotionally connected hipster mom can publicly feign like she's fully engaged and truly desiring to hear what her child has to say all the time, I cannot.

Sometimes I just want to be left alone or be silent or be anywhere else other than waiting in a car line hoping to God Almighty the army of college level graduates that dwells inside can figure out how to time-efficiently herd my son out of the school doors to my waiting van. I've had enough! So yesterday I decided to turn the tables on my wonderful little son and let him experience what Mommy's life is really like.

He hopped in the van and immediately I said:

"Why hello Mommy!"
Eldest- "What? I'm Eldest. Not Mommy!"
Fiery Wife-"Mommy, where are we going?" (this is one of eldest favorite questions to ask)
Eldest-"Mommy!"
Fiery Wife-"No you're mommy and I'm Eldest!"
Eldest- "MOM! NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Oh, it was on. Now I truly began my vengeful game of role reversals. Here is a list of things I did:

-Continually called the name "Mommy"
-Randomly screamed at the top of my lungs
-Asked random questions in random order continuously. For instance, "Why are we driving in a van? Why do tigers have stripes? Why are Stop signs red?"
-Sang the choruses of "let It Go", "Do You Want to Build a Snowman", and "Everything is Awesome" in a loop, in three different keys, sang it soft, then sang it really really loud.
-Pretend cried
-Tattled on Youngest Son even though he wasn't in the van

By this time, through giggles and grunts, Eldest was getting the whole purpose of this exercise. He tried to up the ante by actively playing the role of "Mommy", somehow thinking this would make me stop playing the game. But it didn't. It only fueled my desire to give a little back of what I get every single day of the year. The giggles turned more into grunts and then Eldest yelled to me at the top of his lungs:

"YOU ARE A GIRL! YOU ARE NOT A BOY SO STOP IT!"

To that statement I replied:

"My name is Eldest and I'm a girl. I don't have a pito (Spanish colloquialism for male private parts)!"

Eldest paused; dumbfounded that I said I didn't have a pito and tried to figure out who I was talking about. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw his face. He had a little half smirk right before we bother busted out in a solid minute of hysterical laughter- like crash the car and become a sad story on the news hysterical.

The last time I had this much fun was over the weekend when Husband and I decided to become "MMA" fighters in our living room. We rolled around like two little kids legitimately trying to put each other in submissive holds. I got to "ground and pound" Husband. Well, kinda. It was more like he forgot how strong I was and I took advantage of that fact, jumped on him with all my weight, and half slapped his face over and over while I yelled out "Ground and pound!" over and over again. But I digress.

After Eldest Son and I laughed, I continued on my tirade, and for the first time, I saw how I look to my children. These are the things I saw Eldest doing in the rearview mirror:

-Sighing
-Putting his hand on his forehead
-Rolling his eyes
-Answering me shortly
-Yelling at me
-Screaming at me
-Threatening time outs and spankings to stop me from doing whatever it was I was doing
-Ignoring me
-Over talking me
-Talking under his breath

Hmmm. I wonder where he learned those skills?

Finally, I said "Mommy" one last time about 2 miles from our destination. I was met with a saged silence only a person who's experienced the relentless chatter of a child would offer up. And from my little social experiment, I was granted 2 miles of silence I gladly accepted.

Dinner that evening was exceptionally void of musings from Eldest Son. I told him "eat your food" much less than I usually do. But this afternoon, when I went to pick him up from day camp, he started it again.

"Mommy. Where are we going? I hope it's home because I don't want to go anywhere else. Mommy. What are we having for dinner? Mommy. Mommy. Mom?"

I felt a helplessness creeping back up in me but I remembered I had a new weapon in my parenting arsenal. All I said was "Mommy" in my most precocious child-like voice. In the rear view mirror, he flashed a grin and didn't say another word for the rest of the ride. Mission. Complete.

Sunday Brunch- Oprah and the Spirit of the Antichrist Finally Resolved (Not Really)

Oprah and I have a love hate relationship. Growing up in Chicago, I have very fond memories of watching her show on many a summer morning with my little sister; not knowing half of what was going on, but being fixed on the prescribed topics. Beauty makeovers to Oprah's favorite things in later years, and serious topics like killer mothers and widowed fathers. Even then, in my girlhood, I knew there was a regal-ness about Oprah. She commanded a respect  that penetrated the T.V. screen and captivated us. I was drawn to her show. I was drawn to the fact that an average looking woman could garner so much attention.

As a side note and point of reference, I also want to point out my sister and I were in now way shape or form loyal Oprah fans. We definitely were Maury Povich fans before and after he became a walking DNA swab. I remember one episode (Maury was really trying to be serious) where he had a gentleman who suffered from a disease called BJD. BJD stood for "Big Jaw Disease". Sister and I balled, folded over on our tiny living room floor. Even though neither one of us were more than a dozen years old, we knew there had to be a better name for what this poor young man was suffering from rather than Big Jaw Disease. Not one medical researcher could've extracted a more validating name than Big Jaw Disease from all the dead Latin words that infiltrate our very living English language? C'mon!

Later on, Maury's signature words, "You are not the father!" evoked a certain sick intrigue in my sister and I. Tears and cheers, boos and flailing arms, hair flopping and flying and whipped and ripped off. Oh, it was a sensory attack! All the power Maury possessed, holding those paternity tests in his hands. The potential father nervously waiting to be relieved of his fatherly duties. Too much!

But as my faith grew and I became more of a woman and less of a girl, I grew tired of Maury's antics and Oprah's luster lacked in my world. Her generalized statements and delves into topics of faith, wore on me even in the infancy of my Walk with Christ. I had questions that her "spirituality teachings" and gurus didn't sufficiently answer. The Secret, The Shack, Deepak Chopra, T.D. Jakes, Joel Osteen, A New Earth, Iyanla Vanzant (a yoruba priestess by the way), Dr. Phil, Rick Warren, Dr. Oz, Oprah herself, and an array of books and characters all branded with Oprah's stamp of approval just wasn't doing it spiritually for me anymore.

I heard someone say Oprah possessed the spirit of the antichrist and I must admit, from a Biblical vantage point, I do agree (1John 2:22-24). Now, right when someone says that [Oprah has the Spirit of the antichrist], very often, that person placed in the "weirdo" category or people get freaked out because the word antichrist, at least for believers, directs our attention to evil and danger and ominous circumstances and talk of end times, which can be a very scary topic for some. Or worse, we're reminded of that one Christian Bible website with all the weird galactic backgrounds and that oddly placed Rugged Cross animated gif with Easter lilies blowing in the wind that looks like it hasn't been updated since 1999 only to have all your graphic designing judgements shattered because their last post was dated last week of this year. Please, please, please sound- doctrined websites with outdated graphic designs, sign up for a free Wix account and legitimize your content to a much larger audience in a user-friendly manner. The content may be Bible-based but it's a headache trying to navigate those sites. I'm trying not to be THAT type of article in this post, so please, bear with me.

On the Spirit of the Antichrist.....

The most rudimentary definition of the antichrist is a person who is against Christ and has rejected His truth. Kinda like the Pharisees in the Bible. Check this link out if you'd like to know more about the Pharisees operated.  God doesn't play in shades of grey (not 50, not 100). Like last week's topic, you're either for God, or against God (Matt. 6:24, James 1:8). Plain and simple.

It is not only Oprah walking around with the spirit of the antichrist about her. It is more prevalent than we desire to believe.  It's our next door neighbor or that some-timey, fence straddling church attender. It's our backslidden mother and our wounded sister. It might even be our pastor or deacon, or worship leader or elder. The spirit of the antichrist is all around. The only difference between them and Oprah, is Oprah's reach is much wider and exponentially deeper than theirs, thus magnifying her misguided attempts at seeking and attaining pseudo truths about my God and the essence of His character. In short, Oprah ain't no different that a multitude of antichrists that exist in the world in direct opposition to Christ and His Truth.

Let me share some facts, and spiritual truths to help you discern your way through this gauntlet of antichrists.

On the topic of Oprah and Her Enterprise...... 

Fact- She runs a business. Her main goal, although she has a very philanthropic heart and track record to back it up, is to create revenue. She has a research and development team that exists solely to find out what makes YOU tick so you'll watch her shows, click on her website, read her books (or the books she recommends), buy from her sponsors, etc....

Fact- She has a multi-ethnic, socioeconomically diverse fan base with varied religious backgrounds ranging from atheist to fundamental Mormon, most of whom are women. Remember, her main goal is to create revenue so she is going to try to please as many people as possible hence you get Deepak Chopra and T.D. Jakes sharing the same platform (on the OWN Network) although their religious/spiritual backgrounds wildly vary.

Fact- Oprah does not teach sound, Biblical doctrine. That's not her mission. Again, her mission is to create revenue. She is not trying to be about Acts 1:8. If bringing Joel Osteen means her ratings go up, then she'll bring Joel on. If Joel didn't give her a viable ROI, we wouldn't see much of Joel anymore and she's onto Deepak Chopra. Her mission has nothing to do with ANYONE'S religion.

On the Media You Consume (print, video, web-based, radio)-

Beware! Just because someone says "god" doesn't mean they're talking about the Triune God we know in the Bible. Listen to the context in which they're talking about "god". Iyanla Vanzant is a wonderful example of what I call a "god talker".  I googled her and found out that she is a yoruba priestess. Yoruba is a pagan African elemental religion. Loved her show, but after finding that truth out about her, the Holy Spirit convicted me to stop watching "Iyanla, Fix My Life". It took too much brain power trying to meander through her ungodly "spiritual" talk. God showed me a place (a T.V. show in this case) that needed to be pruned from my life because it wasn't glorifying Him and neither was I by watching it.

If someone is trying to glorify the Triune God, then their language should point back to Him and His Works. If the talk is more self-centered ("finding the god within us" type of lingo) they're probably not someone you want to follow as a spiritual leader if you're alining with Jesus Christ and His teachings. If they appear to be talking about the Triune God but you're still uneasy or the message seems vague or veiled, go to the Bible and see if it matches with God's Word.

I have seen some amazing shows on the OWN network (this is where that love-hate thing comes in). She's good at attracting an audience. The story teller and story listener in me really appreciates "Our America with Lisa Ling" and "Oprah's Master Class". But I'm not looking to either of those shows for my spiritual sustenance.

I can't in good conscience tell you if you should or shouldn't be watching the OWN Network in your free time. The programs you choose to watch fall in to that category of not necessarily sinful acts but not necessarily good for you happenings (Romans 14). In these areas, the Word talks more so about everything we do giving glory to God and refraining from doing things that might cause a fellow brother or sister in Christ to stumble. So the question you should ask yourself is: "Am I glorifying God by watching this show?" and "Will my watching this show cause me, my brother, or sister in Christ to spiritually stumble?" If the answer is no to the former, and yes to the latter, then, you probably should refrain from watching that particular show (Philippians 4:8).

The programming that truly alarms me on Oprah's network is  Super Soul Sunday. It is offering a church/spiritual experience alternative on Sunday (which is traditionally Sabbath for Christians) and is one step away from being a more sophisticated and culturally relevant Jimmy Swaggart type of programming (come to my seminar, buy my magazine, stay on this channel and watch this other series, donate money for x,y, and z).

Super Soul Sunday blurs the lines of Christianity and the New Age Spirituality Movement. The Bible warns against such things like a generalized spirituality (Deuteronomy 18:10-12). It can be hard for believers to discern what is Christian doctrine when Oprah entertains Christian heavy hitters like T.D. Jakes and Rick Warren (still doing my research on some of the mega church pastors and the soundness of their doctrine) and then sneak in an Eckhart Tolle webinar the next week. It can offer the facade that these men and their teachings and writings are somehow aligned. Not the case.

Here are some simple thoughts for your faith journey this week: 

If you want the real story regarding God's character, read the Bible, not "The Seat of the Soul".

If you desire a better understanding of His truth, find a good Bible-based church and attend every week instead of paying to go to "The Life You Want Weekend" hosted by Oprah.

If you are hoping to deepen your faith, pray to our Savior, Jesus Christ, don't use Deepak Chopras' meditation techniques to essentially pray to yourself.

If you're looking for guidance, seek out the Holy Spirit, not a clever and heart-warming quote from Joel Osteen.

I hope this has been an encouragement to up your spiritual awareness. I'll be praying for clarity in seeing what's false versus the Truth. God Bless!

Sunday Brunch happens every Sunday as a spiritual encouragement for readers of the Fiery Wife blog. Come back next week and see what God is serving up for you to eat. "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! (Ps. 34:8)"

Sadly, I'm Going to do Absolutely Nothing!

"Mommy."

"Yes Papa." I call him papa even though he's my son. It's a hispanic thing.

"You know the neighborhood our church is in?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"There's a lot of ugly houses there."

"Why do you say that?"

 "They don't mow their lawns." There was a long pause.

"Well, why do you think they don't mow their lawns?"

"I don't know....They must be lazy."

"Did you ever think they might not be lazy but have trouble keeping up their properties? You know Eldest, it takes a lot of time and money to keep up the outside and inside of a house. A lot of these people don't have the money to buy fancy lawn mowers or pretty flowers to plant in the ground." I know this because I'm ready to pull my hair out over all the upkeep (money and labor-wise) that it has taken to make our rental house a home. Another long pause.

"Mommy."

"Yes Papa." It's not odd for me to call him papa. But I do realize to some of my whiter friends, it's foreign enough that their children have adopted saying it when I'm not around to each other; like a novelty word. It's cute.

"Well, can we help them? Can we get the church together and help them mow their lawns?" Another long pause.

"Yes we can. That would be a good idea."

"Yes! We can take the lawn mower and the one we borrowed and everyone else who has a lawnmower can get theirs and mow their lawns."

"We could."

Tending to a lawn/garden is no joke. Even if you're dong
it on a dime, it's still expensive and a lot of sweat equity! 

I said those last words knowing I wasn't going to try to put this into action or mention it to anyone at church who could help make it happen. I gave that open answer to protect him from church politics and paperwork and endless email threads "ironing out" the logistics of it all.I lied to preserve the un-jadedness of my seven year old. I lied to allow him to keep thinking that he can do anything; that anything is possible. I love his innocent ambition; the way he can want to save a neighborhood through mowing lawns and then sneakily hit his brother out of anger over of all things, a paper airplane.

In this way, I'm very American. I find myself listening to news radio or watching T.V. and being outraged or heartbroken about the things I hear and see. If I'm close to, or on my period, my hormones may just muster up some fat, juicy tears. There is a little activist that lives in me but it's been smited by comfort, familial responsibility, logic, fear, and reason. I could blog about it or comment on on a thousand articles, but if I have no action to back it up, I am nothing more than a clanging gong. I've yet to find a cause that has propelled me to jump from my couch and shake my fist at or sing protest songs about. But when I do, watch out!

I'd love to make a difference but that means putting my neck on the line, being uncomfortable, and possibly putting myself in danger. Who wants to be endangered? We have a whole bunch of cuddly animals in zoos because we're trying to make them not "endangered" so I would think my human life is more valuable than that of a koala or lioness.

Today a Malaysian commercial plane carrying nearly 300 people was shot down while flying across Ukrainian airspace. I was fixed on this story. I was tempted to write something on Facebook- "Please keep all involved in this horrible tragedy in your prayers." or "Heartbroken for all those involved in the Malaysia Air plane crash." But for what? Why bother to post some heartfelt sentiment? I'm going to do absolutely nothing about my feeling.

I camped out at CNN for a while to see if there were going to be any more "breaking developments". But then my attention waned and I glanced at my Mac to check Facebook, and watched a video about how to turn an orange into an 8-hour candle. I can say with a tremendous amount of confidence, that if I'm ever in a position where I would need emergency light, I probably would not be able to MacGyver an orange into a candle! Don't they tell you not to open your refrigerator when the power goes out as not to allow your food to spoil?!? There are almost 300 people dead on the ground, in pieces, burning up in real time in Ukraine and I'm watching rudimentary candle-making tutorials! God in Heaven what is wrong with me?!?????

I feel ashamed as I write this. I know there are other good-hearted couch potato activists out there with lots of ideas and opinions and ideals about what's going on in our world but will never do a damned thing about anything. I eat, drink, and am merry while others right now as we speak live in constant fear of losing EVERYTHING- their dignity, lives; or worse, the lives of their children. I unassumingly write when some girls can't. And if they dare to speak up, they might be shot in the face. But yet I sit and wait for absolutely nothing to happen. The last time I felt an iota of fear was Sept. 12, 2001. That lasted about a week. Then I went back to business as usual.

Today, my son's simple request has shamed me. Shame on me. I need to talk to myself and let me know that I can still do anything. I can help. My voice is good for something. My hands can be vessels of change. I have to remind myself my God is bigger than me and my pessimism and jadedness and utter indifference to what's going on. I want to be used by God for something awesome. I don't want the rest of my life to be a pretty little comfortable picturesque waste.  Gandhi started out as a vegetarian before he took on imperialism in India. There still is hope for me! Baby steps I guess is the way to go. Maybe mowing lawns near our church is what I need to do.....I don't know. We'll see.

Sunday Brunch- Is Your Worship Barren?

On our way to church this morning I was reminded of the words of one of our elders. "Is your worship barren?" She asked this in a women's Bible study. "Is your; is our worship barren?" Her question was swirling in my head on the drive. I wondered to myself "Why? Was this God talking to me?" Last week's Sunday Brunch was catching up with me.

I was then reminded of David dancing before the Lord (2 Sam 6:14-23). There was an abandon with which he danced. He was in his underwear and danced out of sheer joy for the return of the Ark of God. It was spontaneous and exuberant and with utter disregard for anyone but God. As David returned to bless his own home, his wife Michal met him with hate in her heart and a scolding for his unbecoming display of affection toward the Lord. Because of her adverse reaction to her husband, she never bore children. Her womb was barren.

 I'm not here to debate worship styles. There is a variety of equally God-pleasing ways that He's equipped us to worship. God's given us song, dance, poetry, art, preaching, shouting, whispering, and yes, even silent reverence as just a few of the numerous ways to worship Him. Our worship styles are as varied as our DNA and that's how God has fashioned us.

Let's take a look at Michal (pronounced mee-hahl). (2 Sam 6:16) The Bible says when she saw David dancing, she "despised him in her heart". In short, that girl was hatin'! In God's kingdom there is very little, if any, gray area. Either you're for God or you're against God. Either you're focused on God or you're not.  At that moment, Michal was against God. She had hate in her heart and there is no room for love to dwell if hate is filling the spaces where God should rightly be. Before Michal said a word, she had already sinned against God.

It is very easy to read the last verse of 2 Samuel 6 and think God laid down the law and punished Michal by making her womb barren. It wasn't God who punished Michal but the hatred in Michal's heart that caused her to not bear children. Surprise! We can be self destructive! Oh my goodness! Really?!? Yes.

Worship* is what we were made to do. Music, and it's expression, were created for the sole purpose of glorifying God. The enemy would love nothing more than to silence your praises to God. He goes about it by planting seeds of fear and hate in our hearts; very similar to the seeds of hate that were planted in Michal's heart. Michal was so focused on David and his nakedness that she missed the party. She missed the fact that 30,000 people had gathered to rejoice over the Ark of God returning to Jerusalem! Instead, because her focus was pointed elsewhere than God, she missed out on what could've been an amazing worship experience.

How many of us have missed out on a phenomenal worship experience  because we've been too focused on others? Have we been too concerned with what So and So is wearing or how This and That is praising or, in our estimation, not praising God? I can answer honestly by saying yes. Yes I have missed out. There have been times I've been so easily distracted by others that I've taken myself out of God's presence. I have too often, than I truly care to admit, removed my eyes from God.

See, God doesn't change. So when I don't sense God's presence, it's not because He's left the building, it's because I have turned my back or walked out on Him by snickering at someone's unorthodox worship practice or been focused on that gnarly mole on the back of the neck of the lady in front of me. But it wasn't worth it! It wasn't worth missing out on GOD and an encounter with Him so I  could focus on utterly worldly things!

 There was an elderly man I once taught with. During weekly chapel services, I noticed he sang his heart out but was often off rhythm and off pitch. He wasn't tone deaf (only a very small percentage of people are, the others can be taught) but I knew there must be a story behind his uninhibited singing. We had a conversation once where I thanked him for singing. At this particular school (a private Christian institution), it was very difficult to encourage students to worship God through song. He shared that when he was a young boy, a nun at the school he attended, told him not to sing during mass, because in her estimation, he could not sing. He said he was so discouraged that for DECADES he didn't open his mouth to praise God. After marrying his bride, who encouraged him to make a joyful noise, he ceased being self-conscious of his ability and decided to give his best [singing voice] to God.

When you focus on yourself and your perceived lack of ability (or your preoccupation with the beauty of your ability) again, you remove your eyes from God and the result is the same. Your attention is diverted and God is not being given the praise and glory He deserves. If we don't worship, the rocks will cry out (Luke 19:37-40). See, worship isn't about you or me! God gets His glory whether it's from us or a group of snazzy looking boulders. We are the ones who suffer the void and feel the barrenness when our attention is elsewhere.

Psalm 100:1 says "make a joyful noise...",  not necessarily a beautiful and attractive melody. We're all different and have different gifts from God. And God knows some of us aren't the best singers, but still, He wants us to act a hot undignified holy fool for His glory anyway (2 Sam 6:22)! God is less concerned with conceited melodies and more concerned with you giving Him your best. What sounds "noisy" to some could be the most melodious sounding offering to God's ears.

Cain and Abel (Genesis 4) shows us a great example of perceived attractive and unattractive offerings. At surface, both gave reasonably good offerings/sacrifices but Cain's offering was rejected by God. Abel's messy, bloody, fatty, animal sacrifice was favored by God over Cain's clean and sweet tasting "fruit of the ground". This story has little to do with the type of sacrifice and more with the condition of Abel's and Cain's hearts. Abel's sacrifice was accepted because the eyes of his heart were in the right place. Abel was fixed on God and gave God his best. Again, we see the perils of being preoccupied with worldly things. Cain was focused on how awesome he thought his sacrifice was and this deviation from keeping his attention on God, eventually caused Cain to murder his innocent brother.

Worship of any type has to do with the condition of one's heart. Are you remaining quiet during a music set Sunday morning out of rebellion, or self-consciousness, or because someone has discouraged you from singing? If so, I'd love to pray for you because that is not God's will or expectation for you. God want's to hear your praises. He wants you to give Him your best. If that's a beautiful melody, then so be it. If that's a joyful noise, then AMEN!

If you have found yourself distracted, take some time this week and and ask God to forgive you for taking your eyes off Him. I encourage you, through reading the Word and talking with God to refocus your attention. Take full advantage of your next Church gathering and worship God like David- with utter abandon. Only you and God know what that looks like. I encourage you not to judge others or yourself lest your worship be as rejected as Cain's offering or as barren as Michal's womb.


*for the sake of this blog, I am defining "worship" as worship through music. Worship can happen in a multitude of manners including music.

Sunday Brunch happens every Sunday as a spiritual encouragement for readers of the Fiery Wife blog. Come back next week and see what God is serving up for you to eat. "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! (Ps. 34:8)". 

A Tooth Lost and Vacuum Cleaner Salesmen

Teeth kinda gross me out. I definitely understand the need for them. But, outside of their environment (the mouth), those marbly, larger-than-they-appear, oddly-shapen things make my skin crawl. But there I was just yesterday, sitting in the dentist's chair, having a total baby fit (for me that means crying about irrational things) because I needed a wisdom tooth pulled.

 My wise old tooth had a hole, according to my dentist, I could "golf in". I don't like dentists, never have. The mouth is such a sensitive area that the thought of anyone inserting large needles into that orifice, truly makes me want to projectile vomit. I almost did, the past couple of nights. I don't know if it was hormones or the stress of stressing about this extraction or the headache that accompanied this tooth ache that did it, but I felt sea sick. The nauseous feeling went away by my appointment time but was replaced by this unrelenting fear of dry socket.

The previous extraction I had two years ago, resulted in a dry socket- the most intensely concentrated pain I've ever felt in my life. This pain was worse than labor pains, and worse than my broken foot. Dry socket is at the top of my pain totem pole. So, I sat crying in the dentist's chair, feeling like a total idiot trying to "man-up" so I wouldn't be that wuss who was sobbing over something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. C'mon! I pushed a baby out of my lady parts like a boss but can't sit through a simple tooth extraction?!? I'm mad at myself.

Ugly, nasty, gnarly tooth
in pretty pink container.

I grabbed my dentists hand while he had a needle in me. I had to swallow. I'm sure he thought I was more of a crazy woman than I am. But thank GOD, the extraction came and went. Afterward, the sweet hygienist with the Western African accent hugged me. I felt like a little kid. All I needed was an oversized sticker on the front of my tee shirt. Instead I asked to take home my tooth. The hygienist put it in a cute little pink tooth container (I'm sure for kids) and off I went with Husband.

We got home and I got comfortable. After a couple of hours, Friend came over and she, Husband and I hung out and laughed and talked about nothing. Sometimes those types of conversations are the best. Then, there was a knock at the door. Oh dear. a door to door vacuum salesman! Not on the day of my extraction! I thought surely, Husband would shoo him away but here was this slender, Middle Eastern man standing in the middle of my living room, sweating all over himself for no good reason. Oh Lawd!

The free cleaner that

got my husband to invite 

Ben into our home.

Ben was his name. I don't think that was really his name. I think that was his "American" name given to him by some mysterious, but I'm sure equally sweaty person waiting in the slogan-less white van that dropped Ben off at our home. What a shame. I really would've liked to know his name. Ben was hard working. I did some research after he left and found out these salesmen often work 100 hours a week! Man! Ben offered to clean our living room for free and we got a free bottle of totally awesome multi purpose cleaner.

Ben was pleasant enough. He told corny jokes as he vacuumed our carpet; showing me how disgusting my house truly was. Uh-Oh's fir was everywhere! But Ben vacuumed and vacuumed and tried as hard as he could to sell us a $3000 machine. Not happening. But I played a game with Ben called "how low can you go?". I didn't tell Ben we were playing this game but I think he knew.  He did us a "favor" and knocked the price down to $2000. We told him that was still too much. He said he needed to call his boss. I secretly love the "boss". It's all so mysterious! He gets on the phone and his "boss" tells him he's going to have to call corporate to get this "special" deal approved. Ok. I'll wait. Meanwhile Friend texted us Amazon listings for the vacuum sitting in our living room starting at $375 used. The stakes just got higher.

The "boss" called back. He knocked the price down to $1800 because Husband is a fireman.  And if we finance, we'll only have 36 easy payments of $50/month. Schnikes! The sweat off Ben's body had now accumulated into areas of his torso I'm not used to seeing sweat. He hungrily took a swig of the Sprite we offered him. I saw his salesman wheels turning. How was he going to get us to buy this vacuum. He was so close. Or so he thought!  I tell Ben 36 months was waaaay too long to finance a vacuum cleaner. In actuality, we try to finance nothing. We like paying in full.

In the flurry of the presentation, 

Hoover, our trusty vacuum

was fired by Ben.

Now, we're playing hardball and the "boss" with the crossed eyes came out of the mystery van and shook all of our hands. On a piece of scrap paper, the "boss" handed me a written figure. $799. I told him we'd still have to finance that figure. He asked if we had credit cards. Husband and I said "no" in chorus. "Boss" seemed frustrated. I gave him back the paper; pretty proud I bargained him down from $3000 to $800. He furiously scribbled on the paper. $499. I wasn't buying this vacuum but I was doing cartwheels inside my body. $499! Yeah! I got him down to the price of a Dyson!

I didn't feel bad for playing my game because I asked Ben earlier if he worked on commission. He said "no". He was paid for cleaning our carpet and giving a presentation. Ok. Fair enough. God is good! He offered me a distraction from this soreness in my mouth, allowed Ben, a hardworking man to earn his pay, and allowed me a free carpet cleaning all while NOT getting taken for a $3000 vacuum. Did I mention before the presentation was over, Ben fired our Hoover? Yeah, he even gave it it's "pink slip" (in this case, one of the vacuum filters Ben was using to show me how much I didn't clean my house). I couldn't help but laugh at that. A big belly laugh. I rehired Hoover after Ben left our house to smoke a cigarette on our driveway and wait for the mysterious white van to reappear and take him to someone else's house.


      

Sunday Brunch- God, is That You?

Have you ever wondered how to discern if something you're feeling or thinking is the voice of God as opposed to your own desires/thoughts or something waaaay more sinister like an attack from the Evil One? I wonder that all the time! I'm learning to recognize God's voice from any other as His is a unique; very distinct voice that calls us out of ourselves and points us to His truth and His glory. Allow me to share what I've learned thus far.

HIS Story
You have to familiarize yourself with God's story (ehem, the Bible) before you can begin to recognize His voice. Think of your two best friends. Now think if you never spent time with them; you never spoke to them. You didn't read their text messages or maybe even a blog they wrote. Now think about trying to hear and understand God's voice if you don't read one of our most direct connections to Him- the Bible. The Word is God's love letter to us. It is more than a moral roadmap it is the essence of God's character. The more familiar we become with God's essence the easier it is to recognize His words to us. " And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed." Joshua 1:8 MSG

The Gift of Gab
We have direct access to speak with God whenever we want. We can, and are encouraged to talk with Him ALL THE TIME! Eldest Son loves to talk! I mean he doesn't tire. He doesn't care what he's talking about, he just loves to talk. Often, I find myself absolutely exhausted by his incessant need for dialogue BUT God wants us to converse with us non-stop. Prayer is our direct connect with God. We can come to him with anything and He will patiently listen, never snoozing on us or becoming distracted by anything else. This is something to celebrate! We have a friend in God (John 15:15, James 2:23) that will always make time for us and truly truly desires to hear our voices.

Now, don't mistake God for an ATM. We can't just pray and ask and expect for our prayers to be answered. Think about your earthly friends. How tired of you would they be if every time they hung out with you, you were asking them for something. "Hey, can I borrow $5? I left my wallet at home. Oh, by the way, I really need some beans to cook the rest of my dinner. Can you pick some up and drop em off at my house? Can I get a ride to work?" Thank goodness God is big enough and gracious enough to be able to deal with us when we come to Him in that manner (I'd dare to say all of us have done that to Him at some point in time). We should be spending a good amount of time, praising God for who He is, thanking Him for all he's done and will do for us, confessing where we've wronged Him, intervening (intercessing) for others who need prayer and then asking God for our needs. Say it fast with me- Praise, Thanksgiving, Confess, Intercess, Petition.  "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

The Blessing of Silence

God is patient with us, but just like our earthly conversations, dialoguing with God is an EXCHANGE. As much as we pray to Him (spiritually converse), we should be silent before Him to HEAR and LISTEN to His voice. A lot of times we drown out God's voice because we won't shut up! In short. Don't let your mouth be the roadblock to NOT hearing God's voice. “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” - Psalm 46:10 "Be not hasty to go from his presence. Do not take your stand in an evil cause, for he does whatever he pleases." Ecclesiastes 8:3

Don't Put God in a Box
We do not know the ways of God (Ecc. 11:5) nor do we know HOW He will speak to us. Don't assume you know how (the medium through which) God will speak to you. I've heard testimonies of followers of Christ sharing how they've audibly heard God's voice. For years I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't hear God in that manner. I was wrongly trying to anticipate and manipulate how God was going to talk to me. Only when my reading and prayer life became more consistent did I realize God was talking to me all along. He has chosen to speak to me through the medium in which I would be able to hear Him most clearly- my dreams. God has given me words for my life, encouragement when I've been discouraged, messages for friends and family, and all sorts of other loving and perfectly right on time words He's had for me in my dreams. But God doesn't exclusively speak to me through dreams. He's spoken to me through my children, messages He's given other believers for me, and any other way God deemed appropriate for me at the time.

I've realized the closer I've gotten to God; the more I've leaned into and leaned upon Him; the clearer His voice has become. But, He is so awesome that He's spoken to me even when I was farther away from Him. He spoke to me when I wasn't in relationship with Him, but His words were as clear as mud because of where I was at. But still He spoke. It was only in retrospect (after I became closer to Him) that I realized those impressions, proddings, and dreams were all Him. God was looking out for me even when I wasn't seeking Him. My best advice to you- don't anticipate HOW God will speak to you but just always be OPEN to hearing His words however they may come.

So, You Heard a Word....From Who?
Ok, so you've heard a word. You think it's God, but how do you know? How do you know it's not the Evil one trying to confuse you? There are a couple of questions you can ask to better ascertain an answer.
1. Does the message I received line up with God's Word or does it somehow deviate? If the message you received told you to go jump off a cliff, you can pretty much dismiss that as an attack from the Enemy. Jeremiah 29:11 says God doesn't want to harm us so if the message if contradictory, it probably ain't God because God doesn't contradict Himself.
2. If you're still unsure, go to a trusted friend (who is also a believer) and share the message you feel you received. They may be able to sharpen your understanding of the message. Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). Just make sure you're not going to your friend FOR the answer. Only God knows.
3. If you're STILL unsure, go back to God. He'll give you the answer. God can clear up any confusion. (Jer. 33:3, John 10:27, Isa. 30:21)

Hopefully that helped! Have a wonderful rest of the week. I pray you make time to better know God through His Word and through talking and listening to Him. I pray you if you've yet to hear God that this would be the week where His voice penetrates through the busyness of your week.

References: 
The Bible (The Message Version and English Standard Version)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brian-moll/is-god-really-speaking-to-you-4-questions-to-help-you-discern-his-voice_b_3248509.html

Sunday Brunch happens every Sunday as a spiritual encouragement for readers of the Fiery Wife blog. Come back next week and see what God is serving up for you to eat. "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! (Ps. 34:8)". 

Eldest Turns 7!

Eldest Son turned 7 today. Happy birthday! He spent his day at camp. He ran and jumped and made crafts and ate a butt-load of lunch and swam and essentially had an overall good day. He had a happy birthday sticker when I met him after camp. All smiles.

I love his big blue-gray-green eyes. He had to grow into them. When Eldest was a baby, I thought something was wrong with him because his eyes were so big comparatively to his head sized. He always looked surprised. Always! But he wasn't. His eyes were just really big.

Eldest's eyes always tell you his story. Often they betray him. His eyes tell me before anything else if he's content, frustrated, melancholy or just plain ol' angry. Today, they looked reasonably content but there was a somber tinge around the outer edge of his pupils.

Eldest Son is a talker! Sometimes I really can't keep up with him and tell him I need a moment of silence. "It's not you Eldest, it's me. Just 5 minutes." He usually obliges.....for 47seconds before he's bounced onto his next topic. Today, he asked me his usual after-school/camp question-

"Where we goin' mom?"
"Well, since it's your birthday, I thought we'd go back to the dollar store and Target to spend some of your gift cards. What do you think about that?"
"Oooh! Allright I'm in!" There was a 10 second pause. "Mommy, I left my towel at school."
"Why did you do that?"
"Oh, I just forgot it."
"Ok. Well, make sure to get it tomorrow. I won't send you with a towel so you'll remember it tomorrow." There was another 10 second pause. "Well, Eldest, how did you dry off after swimming?"
"A friend borrowed me his towel."
"Oh." I cringed a bit on the inside. That's on my list of nasty things I'll never do- share a towel with a stranger.
"He told me I better not touch my booty with it."
After laughing hysterically, I said "That's fair."

We were 5 minutes away from our destination when Eldest asked me about Husband.
"Mommy. Is daddy at home?"
"No son, you know he's at work today."
"But why couldn't he be here for my birthday?"
"You know Eldest, we've been very fortunate. He's been home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, my birthday, and your Nonny's (Forever Mom) birthday."
Eldest then burst into tears.
"But I want him here for MY birthday. Even (he says even a lot in random places) it's not fair he's here for everyone else's birthday and all the holidays in the world.

My heart broke for him. He can be so tender at times. He was truly hurt that his daddy wasn't going to be here today to celebrate with him. I didn't know what to do with this one. I couldn't fix this. I couldn't make it better. I tried to explain it to him feel a little better.

"You remember when daddy got hired onto the department?"
"Yeah."

A special dinner with an 

even more special dessert after 

shopping goes a LONG way!  

"Remember when we had that conversation about how because the way daddy's schedule works, he might not always be home on holidays or special days for our families?"
I saw him slump a little further down in his booster seat. "Yeah."
"Remember how you had that awesome party where all of your friends came last week?"
"Yeah."
"We did that so daddy could be at your birthday party."
"But he's not here now! And today's my birthday!" More tears.

I hugged him, wiped his tears, kissed his face and painfully hoped that a cart-full of toys (most of which will accumulate in some random corner of my house never to be touched again) would distract him enough to temporarily forget his woes. It did.
   

A Summertime Memory- Tissue Paper

My Pastor and his family went on vacation four summers ago and asked my family to house sit their home. At the time, this was a welcome invitation because we had just moved from Chicago, intentionally living in community in the basement of Husband's best friend's house (I could write a whole book on intentionally living in community). So to have our own space, if even for a week, was a welcome notion. We excitedly pack our bags, as if we were going out of town, and drove 4.5 minutes down the road to our little getaway.

It's funny living in other people's houses but it's freakin' uncomfortable living in your pastor's. Pastor and his wife told us we could sleep in the master suite but we refrained. Husband and I were a little creeped out by sleeping where Pastor "did it", even though whenever we have overnight guests, we're always trying to give our bed away! But, we made ourselves as much at home as we could. We chose one of their sons' room to sleep in since he was young enough to be safe he wasn't "doin' it" but old enough to have a full-sized bed. Best of both worlds!

It is a peaceful house and has many places and spaces to curl up and just......be. I took full advantage of the stillness of the house, seeing as our residence at the time, was always filled with the screams of Eldest Son mixed with the squeals of really excited girls upstairs and the coos and goos of 2 absolutely adorable and brand new babies. One, Youngest Son and the other, our friends' little guy upstairs. That house was a busy house; always in constant motion. I imagine that house probably breathed an exhausted sigh when we would all leave for our respective works and took all the children to daycare and school. So I thoroughly lavished myself in the stillness I found in Pastor's house.

One quiet afternoon, I walked over to the guest bathroom to use the facilities. Without being too crass, I sat down, did my liquid business and then realized there was absolutely no toilet paper. Crap! This is not like not having toilet paper in your own house. In your own house you can holler for someone or know where the surplus stash is, or waddle out with your pants down, grab the toilet paper and make a dash back to the bathroom before anyone sees your naked butt. But this wasn't my house so my options were limited.

Pastor's wife is a good woman. She is sweet without being cotton candy, gentle-spirited in a honest manner, funny when necessary and a bomb hostess. She's made an absolutely welcoming home. The walls are warm and filled with family photos and clever decor that you're pissed you didn't think of first. So, knowing this, I knew she had some kind of paper products stashed in this bathroom somewhere. I looked in the small, hand-painted cabinet in the corner but found nothing. Nothing but facial tissue (a woman's best friend next to toilet paper)! I was so relieved upon seeing the little box of folded, downy-soft paper. So I happily grabbed some and wiped, washed my hands and went to the kitchen to raid the fridge for some type of snack food.

I was going about foraging through plastic leftover containers and fancy salad dressing, when I felt a warmth between my legs that gave me pause. I ignored the sensation at first, as a wash of heat that came over me. I was, in a different house so I was thinking, maybe the air conditioning was warmer than I was used to. But then the warm sensation intensified to a definite heat. The heat turned to a burning and I was doing plies ballet style in the kitchen of my Pastor's house attempting to "air" out my lady-bits. But what was causing this sudden heat wave in my pants? Oh dear Jesus! I figured I had an idea.

I ran back to the bathroom and grabbed the box of fluffy tissue, whipped it around to the label side and there, staring back at me was that very familiar logo. The box read "tissue infused with Vick's Vapor Rub". Vapor Rub! I had just rubbed Vick's all over my girlfriend!!!!!!!! Only me. Only me. I quickly abandoned all reason, tore my pants off WITH the door open, pumped the hand soap bottle, turned the cold water on and hand washed my most private of privates. I received immediate relief from the heat between my legs and could not have been more grateful for soap and water. I found respite and peace in my Pastor's guest bathroom; pants around my ankles, standing there in a puddle of water, booty all out there.