Oh......I Music Video Referenced Paula Abdul :(

I really appreciate the support my husband gives me in all of my musical endeavors. I'm starting up a private lesson business (voice and piano), I am the worship director at the church we attend, and I've started writing songs. I could have never done any of this without his blessing and support and I am forever grateful for the support system he's been for me. I need time to practice for Sunday mornings, write, and prepare for lessons. He's been more than gracious about the time I need to devote to these huge aspects of my life. He also keeps my artsy fartsy head out of the creative clouds when I need to and should be focusing on our family. 

His career has facilitated the opportunity for me to pursue aspects of my musicianship I would've never been able to tap had I continued my typical 40+hr/wk teaching career. I am in the summer of my creativity. I am writing songs, and essays and blog posts and reading books and playing music and painting canvases and doodling pictures on the sketchbook app on my phone. I feel more vibrant than I have in 6 years (that's when we started having children). 

One of my doodles. I call it "Swirls"

It's difficult for artsy-fartsys to maintain a healthy and viable family life. Our craft can be so self-centered and our choice in spouse is one that can empower or destroy a family. I am also not oblivious to the fact the divorce rate is significantly increased among firemen. So, our marriage is something we try to keep in focus and consistently strive (and sometimes fight) to maintain healthy lines of communication amongst each other. This is something we are presently learning to do (fyi, we are nearing year 8 of marriage) but have yet to master.  

My husband is not an artsy-fartsy. He loves working out and fighting fires and playing basketball. He barbecues (he indoor cooks also) and drinks beer and cooks with beer :) He's a man's man. And I love it! I deliberately decided to not choose a spouse who was a fellow musician. I wanted someone different from me in every way. I wanted someone who would fill in my gaps and I the same. He's the cherry on top of my sundae and I like to think I'm the peppery watercress in his way too healthy salad. 

My husband is your typical Type-A personality; very regimented and disciplined. He wakes up at the same time each morning. Everything has its place. Disorder frustrates him.  For me, everything can go in any place. He makes the bed and I mess the bed and leave it. His side of the closet is compartmentalized by length of sleeve. All short sleeves together, all long sleeves together. Pants stay with pants, sweaters are folded and placed on the top shelf. His sock drawer is truly a sock drawer. 
My sock drawer, is anything but a sock drawer. Hell, if we're being honest with each other, I don't need a sock drawer, because I can never find a match so usually I go sock-less. My side of the closet..........looks like the clothes dryer projectile vomited my wardrobe from floor to ceiling. When he was in basic training, he had a side job ironing fellow soliders' uniforms. Irons are agains my religion. 

But, I truly appreciate my husband because he is my gentle reminder that the clothes dryer cannot projectile vomit all over the bedroom and that going sock-less usually makes for corn-chip smelling feet. He encourages me that practicing music is a valuable skill but so is cooking and eating the food that's cooked. My children cannot live on corn flakes alone (I saw a Bizzare ER about a toddler whose parents only fed him oatmeal. It wasn't good. There was weak legs and mouth sores involved......). 
My husband makes me better and he's told me I do the same. 

We ain't perfect that's for sure! We have our share of troubles and woes. I don't want to ever give the impression that I'm trying to put on airs. We argue about dumb stuff and have made poor parenting decisions and poor financial choices. I just pray we haven't yet made childhood wounds that will require our children to seek counseling sessions in the future. I've been nasty more times to my husband that I'd like to admit and he'd agree. But I can say this: we attempt to love more than we choose to lash each other with our tongues. We try to support rather than frustrate; talk (even when it's hard) rather than zip our lips and turn our backs. We try to be intimate rather than have make-up sex. Sometimes we're gainfully successful in these endeavors and sometimes I feel like that Paula Abdul music video with that animated Cheetos lookalike cat.............you know- 2 steps forward, 2 steps back. I think it's time to stop; seeing as I just referenced Paula Abdul.