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Thursday, September 11, 2014

An Open Letter to Janay Rice

Janay,

My heart broke for you and your family upon seeing the now infamous video. It turned my stomach and physically pained me to see you had endured that type of brutality at the hands of someone you love and supposedly loves you. I know your husband has been villainized in the public eye and now because of the public's outcry about the incident, your husband has lost his job. It is sad and utterly unfortunate that the sins of one would reverberate so far and wide. I'm sorry that the emergence of this new footage has scraped up an incident you thought you began to heal from. I'm sorry that you feel assaulted again.

There are some of us out there that gain nothing but a heavy heart from being witness to what was one of the darkest moments of your life. We saw things that usually stay buried in the recesses of some unfortunate couples' closets; almost never seeing the light of truth; until it's too late. Until the story is not of an indefinite suspension and counseling program, but the funeral of a beautiful young woman who had "so much to offer", and the murder trial of a once "promising young athlete" similar to Cherica Adams and Rae Carruth.

In that horrible horrible video Janay, many of us saw our sisters, mothers, aunts, and best friends being assaulted and we were angered and outraged. We later heard your apology while sitting next to your husband and heard the believable excuses of a thousand battered women swelling; overflowing and oozing from the gashes and various other wounds on their bodies and in their spirits. You are not the first and definitely won't be the last to excuse your abuser's behavior. You are not the first to take the blame but I want you to know you couldn't have done anything to provoke the cowardly and merciless act that rendered you unconscious.

Janay, this video may have saved you no heartache but it's publication (whatever the reason behind its release) may have saved your life! I do understand your frustration that your situation to some, was merely a sensational, money making, capital venture that left you victimized again; picking up the pieces of your husband's now obliterated career and your dignity off that elevator floor. How lowly and base a person has to be to gain from your pain. But now, we, the public are forced to deal with this and cannot hide behind the All American sport of football with it's "good ol' boys" unwritten rules that say only address problems if they're exposed by sleazy irreputable news sources like TMZ.  I cannot imagine the immense amount of pain you must feel.

I am distraught that instead of rallying around you Janay, many fellow women have taken this opportunity to berate, bash, and malign you and your decisions. Shame on them for being so anonymously flippant in their comments underneath articles that could never tell the whole story. Shame on them for publicly cursing you from the cozy cocoon of their Facebook pages. Shame on the memes and insensitive quips and jokes made at the expense of your humaness. How is it we live in a day and age where the victims continue to be victims over and over and over again? Once by their attacker, second by the judicial system often, and third by the court of public opinion. I guess "First World" doesn't equal "First Class". I dare say the ones that are so vocal in their criticisms of you may also be suffering their own silent torment (be it past or present) and have used you as the proverbial whipping boy to deflect from their own abusive situations.  What a sad and crippling cycle abuse can suck people into.

Respectfully, no one would want to walk a mile much less the length of a floor tile in your shoes. So, on behalf of you Janay Rice, I ask every decent, compassionate human being to rest their stones for a moment of silence amid a stadium's worth of incessantly empty commentary on your life. We will never come close to knowing the pain you suffer. And once that pregnant pause passes, I ask all women, men, and anyone in-between with voice, to stand up and fight for those whose voices have been stripped, manipulated, and beaten from them. From victim to victor is my prayer for you Janay.

Best Wishes for you and your family,
Fiery Wife

Emotional, Sexual, and Physical abuses are never OK. If you are suffering abuse please visit: http://www.thehotline.org/ or call 1-800-799-7233. If you suspect a loved one is suffering abuse please visit: https://www.dosomething.org/actnow/actionguide/help-someone-your-community-who-experiencing-verbal-emotional-or-physical-abuse


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